The Day Of Miracles
by freya kurenai
Summary: it would be the day of everything fulfilled... ANGST. YAOI.


**Freya : never really meant to do another one-shot again (sorry!) while I'm drowning in Spiral 2 (and other works) prep-ing… but… it wouldn't leave me alone! Please, you have to know… I'm a hard core fan (I know the name of Kanone's violin for Pete's sake!) but… oh firetruck, just listen to this : " Sen no yoru wo koete " by Aqua Timez… I assure you, you will be touched.**

**Legend: "blah"- lyrics ; **_**"**blah" - thoughts_

**Anyway, this is dedicated to those who have loved, and those who know that that is better than to never have loved at all. **

_**

* * *

I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me  
I wander within that repetition**_

_**- "Over a thousand nights" by Aqua Timez**_

It would be the day full of miracles, of dreams-come-true, of goals-attained, of happy reunions and happier meetings… yes, the day would be perfect, for everyone in their own little way, because I'm not the selfish to want every good thing for myself.

_**Do you love me? Or not love me?  
**_

It would be the day my brother would realize something, and remember that he forgot someone important, someone who cared for both him and me… someone that he should love now that everything was over.

_**As for things like that, it's already fine either way  
**_

It would be the day that Eyes would stop, _stop for the love of God, _carrying everything on his shoulders, alone, and finally realize that is nothing wrong with being cursed- because Kanone would be there.

_**No matter how I wish  
There are many unchangeable things in this world, right?  
**_

Right, it would be the day Kanone would come back, to be by Eyes' side again, not as his mentor, not as a Blade Child- not as _anything _but his lover. Soul mate. Life partner, and any other synonym to the phrase "someone who loved, loves you still, and will love you for all eternity."

_**That's right, and because only the fact of my loving you  
Is the truth unchangeable by anyone  
**_

It would be the day that Ryoko and Sayako and Rio- it would be the day that their dreams and fantasies would be there, _just there_, for them to grab and hold on to.

_**I want to overcome the thousands of nights and tell it to you  
**_

Ryoko would be able to run and live a normal life, no longer forced to face the terrors of being a Blade Child.

_**There's something that I must tell you  
**_

Sayako would remember her family, remember whatever it was that she forgot… and then, it would be like the old times for her- smiles and laughter and, _oh god_, nothing would ever harm her again.

_**In this broad world, I can't express the joy of encountering you with words  
**_

And Rio, _gods Rio_, would either grow taller or get as many melons as she wanted and-and-and…

_Here's where you let the tears finally fall, and you start to wonder if a fall would do you some good-**Gods what was he thinking?!**- … and you would get up, look up at the very least and continue your train of thoughts to the very end…_

_**So we smile, sing about the vividly passing autumn in do-re-mi  
**_

It would be the day I could finally tell Hiyono how I really felt, and how I really enjoyed being with her… and how I really didn't thinking the song was weird at all… I could finally look her in the eye and tell her, _just tell her…i_

_**Turn our backs on winter, wait for the sunlight streaming through trees in spring  
And become reborn anew, so that we can protect someone  
**_

It would be the day that I could finally stop worrying, because everyone would be fine and they wouldn't be lonely anymore, and they wouldn't need my saving hand because they'd-they'd-

_You're losing it again, stumbling over thoughts as you turn your head up- and even that is difficult in itself- and you're letting yourself fall… **fall harder, dammit!**..._

_And you dare dream, you dare think of **him…**_

_**On the path we came from and our destination, when we looked back, I'd always have timid eyes**_

_And here coherent thought has failed you, because you collapsed… not really thinking anymore, as you listen… just listen… everything's just blank noise… nothing nothing…_

It would be the day he could finally ambush Kousuke –_Gods, he loved that name_- on the roof of the school, and he would tell him how he felt, how much he has fallen over the past few months…

_**I want to face you, but I can't be honest**_

And he would be truthful about it, and relaxed because he somehow knew what his reaction would be… and everything wouldn't have to have a double meaning, he wouldn't have to wonder or worry about anyone as the red-head would slowly close the distance between them…

_**I, who repeated days of not being able to straightforwardly love my partner  
And hated being alone on that day**_

And Ayumu would tell him everything, every bit of it…

How he would wake up after every nightmare calling Kousuke's name, how he dreamt sometimes of the older teen coming back to school again, and then from there he would tell him how much he missed him, how lonely it was, how long he'd had to wait for Kousuke to come back…

"_I hate being alone…"_

_**Seemed to love people while unwounded**_

And that tight grip on him wouldn't diminish in its strength, nor its gentleness… and he would hear whispered words that he knew had to be only for him- not for anyone else because they already had all that they wanted.

_**I'll overcome the thousands of nights and go meet you now  
There is something that I must tell you  
**_

Yes, it would lead to something more, and they would watch the stars fall on the night of that perfect day… watch as the people they cared for relax and leave their worries of loneliness and sadness and being betrayed and broken- they could leave all those behind and just lie there…

_**I want to be loved**_

But Ayumu knew, he knew and everyone else knew… they all knew that that day would never come.

The day full of miracles, of dreams-come-true, of goals-attained, of happy reunions and happier meetings, of leaps-of-faith and landings-on-sturdy-ground… they all knew that that day would only come in their dreams.

The day…

That day that must always have a sunrise and a sunset- because everything had to have a beginning and an end.

That day that would forever stay in their dreams –_his dreams_- and they wouldn't be able to realize it.

That day… that dream world… _why did he have to have that dream anyway? Why did it have to be so perfect and, oh, so painfully short, so painfully un-true…_

_The farthest thing from reality and logic and the things he knew he'd committed his soul and body and mind to…_

_The things that he couldn't have-wouldn't have- never would have because there were too many things to be done- to be undone- to be seen- to be unseen- to be felt- to be numb to-why did everything have to be so confusing?!_

_He knew it all, and yet he felt as if he knew nothing other than the pain- the searing, hot, unstoppable pain…._

…_of no one being there…_

…_of looking for someone and never finding them…_

…_of trusting someone and being let down…_

…_of being betrayed and hurt and despised…_

…_of not being able to runaway when you're scared…_

…_of not being able to see, to feel, to remember the important things in life…_

…_of not being there…_

…_of not being noticed, and loved and cared for- for what you truly are…_

…_of knowing everything would end…_

…_of knowing there would have to be price for everything you ever had…would ever have… would wish for…_

…_of not being **loved **by the person you have loved so much it hurt…_

_**but you don't seem to love me  
**_

******

* * *

****It was all too damnably hurtful. Life was never meant to hurt this bad. **

**_

* * *

_ **

_Freya: Yeah, really angsty. Please, review! Here's the full lyrics, along with translations. _

**_OVER 1000 NIGHTS BY AQUA TIMEZ (SEN NO YORU WO KOETE)_**

**_ROMAJI_**

_Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai  
Sono kurikaeshi no naka o samayotte  
Boku ga mitsuketa kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte  
Suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaeru n da Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai  
Sono kurikaeshi no naka o samayotte  
Boku ga mitsuketa kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte  
Suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaeru n da_

_Anata ga boku o aishiteru ka aishitenai ka  
Nante koto wa mou docchi de mo ii n da  
Donna ni negai nozomou ga  
Kono sekai ni wa kaerarenu mono ga takusan aru darou  
Sou soshite boku ga anata o aishiteru to iu jijitsu dake wa  
Dare ni mo kaerarenu shinjitsu da kara_

_Sen no yoru o koete anata ni tsutaetai  
Tsutaenakya naranai koto ga aru  
Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai  
Sono kurikaeshi no naka o samayotte  
Boku ga mitsuketa kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte  
Kizutsuitatte suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaeru n da  
Kimochi o kotoba ni suru no wa kowai yo  
Demo suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaeru n da_

_Kono hiroi sekai de meguriau yorokobi o kotoba ja iiarawasenai ne  
Dakara boku-tachi wa hohoemi iro azayaka ni sugiru aki o doremi de utatte  
Fuyu o se ni haru no komorebi o machi  
Atarashiku umarekawaru dareka o mamoru you ni to_

_Kita michi to ikisaki furikaereba itsu de mo okubyou na me o shite ita boku  
Mukiaitai demo sunao ni narenai  
Massugu ni aite o aisenai hibi o  
Kurikaeshite wa hitoribocchi o iyagatta ano hi no boku wa  
Mukizu no mama de hito o aisou to shite ita_

_Sen no yoru o koete ima anata ni ai ni yukou  
Tsutaenakya naranai koto ga aru  
Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai  
Sono kurikaeshi no naka o samayotte  
Boku ga mitsuketa kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte  
Kizutsuitatte suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaeru n da  
Sono omoi ga kanawanakutatte suki na hito ni suki tte tsutaeru  
Sore wa kono sekai de ichiban suteki na koto sa_

**_ENGLISH TRANSLATION_**

_I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me  
I wander within that repetition  
I found one answer; that even if I'm scared, even if I'm hurt  
I can say "I love you" to the person who I love_

_Do you love me? Or not love me?  
As for things like that, it's already fine either way  
No matter how I wish  
There are many unchangeable things in this world, right?  
That's right, and because only the fact of my loving you  
Is the truth unchangeable by anyone_

_I want to overcome the thousands of nights and tell it to you  
There's something that I must tell you  
I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me  
I wander within that repetition  
I found one answer; that even if I'm scared  
Even if I'm hurt, I can say "I love you" to the person who I love  
It's scary to turn my feelings into words  
But I can say "I love you" to the person who I love_

_In this broad world, I can't express the joy of encountering you with words  
So we smile, sing about the vividly passing autumn in do-re-mi  
Turn our backs on winter, wait for the sunlight streaming through trees in spring  
And become reborn anew, so that we can protect someone_

_On the path we came from and our destination, when we looked back, I'd always have timid eyes  
I want to face you, but I can't be honest  
I, who repeated days of not being able to straightforwardly love my partner  
And hated being alone on that day  
Seemed to love people while unwounded_

_I'll overcome the thousands of nights and go meet you now  
There is something that I must tell you  
I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me  
I wander within that repetition  
I found one answer; that even if I'm scared  
Even if I'm hurt, I can say "I love you" to the person who I love  
Even if those thoughts aren't fulfilled, I can say "I love you" to the person who I love  
It's the most wonderful thing in this world_


End file.
